how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
