He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I didn't notice because vodka
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
