I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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