so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
