scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
