brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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