Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
