thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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