Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
