I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
it glows. i had to have it.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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