dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
