i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
