Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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