just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Randomize
