Whod you bang
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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