Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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