your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
