the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
