I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
