No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
