You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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