i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
