Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
So apparently I’m into choking now
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