My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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