she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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