Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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