Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
