i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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