Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Randomize
