Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
