we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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