Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
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