My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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