i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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