I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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