Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
