When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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