shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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