If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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