no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
