Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
