I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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