I just saw a hot homeless man
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
