? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
