Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
