Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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