My room smells like vodka and shame
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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