Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
