she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
