I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
